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1974 Benjamin 2016

Benjamin Griefer

August 12, 1974 — February 14, 2016

JAMIE GRIEFER
8/12/74 – 2/14/16
Passed away unexpectedly.
Survived by his parents Pat & Casey Gilling, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and many friends.
Service will be held on Saturday Feb 20, at Overland Park Christian Church, 7600 W. 76th Street, Overland Park, KS 66204. Visitation at 12:30 pm with service to follow at 1 pm. There will be a wake at the Gilling Home to follow. The pictures in the lobby will also be on display at Pat & Casey’s house, for those who are interested.
Jamie was baptized as a child but thru the years as he as witnessed cruelty and unkindness he strayed further and further away from organized religion. He did believe that there was a greater being out there and was a very spiritual person but just couldn’t decide what.
I am quoting from something a friend of his sent to me this week and it most definitely expresses a description of him.
“Mom,
Words cannot express the tremendous amount of loss and sadness I feel right now for you and Casey. I cannot begin to understand how you both are feeling. Please know that Jamie's "family" all of us that have been friends for more than 25 years are here to support you in any way we can. We love you more than words and any one of us would give ourselves to make this pain go away for you! You raised an amazing man. A beautiful soul, a man smarter than myself. The most caring and spirited person I have ever met. I am fortunate enough to be able to call him my friend and my family. He will never be forgotten and will live on in the stars and in my heart forever. Please, if there is anything I can do or anything any of his "family" of friends can do know that we are happy to help, sit and listen, or just be. I love you, mama!! Hugs and much love to you and Casey both!!!”
In thinking back on Jamie’s life I knew from the beginning he would be a handful, when he arrived in one hour and 12 minutes.
Some thoughts that bring a smile are my futile attempts to discipline him when he was very young. As I would advance towards him reprimanding him, he would stop, face me and say “but, but, but, Mommy, I Love You”, now what can you do with that? And as he grew taller than me (no a huge accomplishment here) I was scolding him one day, my finger pointing and my head tilted up to look him in the face, he said, “Mom, wait” then he brought over a dining room chair and said “would you like to stand on this?”
He was so terribly kind, he never met a stranger and he always reached out to those hurting or in need. He exhibited the manners taught to him as the grandson of a military grandfather and a southern grandmother.
We used to joke that he was born 20 years too late as he would have fit right in with the hippy generation.
His love and devotion for his grandparents was something we always observed. The last 15 years of their lives he dedicated himself to helping take care of them. He was always there for them and they knew how much he loved them.
His love of family was very important to him. One of his greatest pleasures was being able to get together with his cousins.
To him, his family always included his friends. Many spent years dropping in and out of our home where they knew they were always welcome. One memory I will never forget is when we took Jamie and his best friend/sister to Colorado on a ski trip. The one advantage of having an only child was there was no squabbling. This entire drive they spent in the back seat with “Mom, she’s touching me”, “Casey, he is looking out my window”. Casey once threatened to pull the car over and put them both out.
Casey and I go from being numb to shattered.  We don’t know how to process it. The love and support you have all given us is tremendous. We know that God will heal our broken hearts in time and we have to rely on the fact that there is a reason that God needed him now. My one comfort is the fact that he is at peace, safe, and in the arms of his grandparents and my sister, holding him tight.

And so I say goodnight my sweet boy, I will see you again when it is time. I love you, Mom.

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